We dedicate this blog to you. Well actually only this entry, which puts you at one entry less important to us than San Diego.
Speaking of San Diego we thought of you while at the zoo. Behold:
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We know you are going to Ukraine soon. We’ll miss you but we know you’ll be a fantastic missionary. Probably better than all your brothers combined. I’m actually an expert on Ukrainian customs and thought I’d give you some hints and general knowledge before you go.
When you see sausages on the ground do not eat them. They are not free food. (Think Elf) The sausages are poisoned. They leave them lying in the streets. They are actually an innovative method of eradicating the wild dog population. Now that’s using Ur Kranium. The sausages remind me of the spirit of Elias. Preparing the way, clearing the dogs away so that you can bring forth the gospel to their streets. Lest you think I’m making any of this stuff up I’ve provided evidence to back up my knowledge.
Before you animal right activists get in a fit I have another story. I’ve mentioned this before but you thought I was making it up. A popular Ukrainian custom is to chain up bears and force them to drink vodka for the amusement of the patrons. At least it was a popular custom. Many restaurants and bars had their own respective vodka drinking bear, but no more. New legislation will prohibit said activities and as many as 80 bears will be freed from captivity. This move effectively eliminated the freeloading bears’ burden on society. Bears will now be expected to buy their own vodka “just like everyone else.”
Now we’ll move on to the topic of famous Ukrainians. After extensive research I was able to recognize a few names.
Milla Jovovich. She is famous for her ability to shoot zombies with guns and more recently kill people with swords while wearing a princess dress. (Hilary refers to the new Muskateer movie as the princess dress movie thanks to her)
Mila Kunis. She is famous for proving that America is not the only country dumb enough to think that it is cool to give someone a common name and then misspell it. Also famous for being on TV.
Upon further analysis every famous Ukrainian has one thing in common. Namely they live in the United States.
Now there is one “famous” Ukrainian who does not live in the United States. I hesitate to say she is famous but her hair is well known for its resemblance to a film character from the 70’s. Meet prime minister Yulia Tymoshenko.
I have no way of proving this but I’m fairly confident she wears her hair like that every single day. Evidence suggests she was born that way.
She served several terms but was ousted in the 2010 election. I wouldn’t say that necessarily reflects anything on her job performance. In Ukraine some people publicly advertise they will vote for whoever pays them the most.
I guess some dude took advantage of these votes for sale and outfoxed Yulia. He used his Kranium. You can use Ur kranium too.
your knowledge of Ukraine impresses me. This was awesome. And it's too bad you found out my green screen plot with DC. that's exactly what I did.
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